My Daughter's Dildo - Part 8

“I’m getting dressed!” Nicole yelled from her bedroom.

Becca changed direction and headed past my door on her way to my daughter’s room. I stood there naked, clutching the ball of clothes, and listened to the muffled sound of them greeting each other. Was Nicole still naked? Had she cleaned my cum off her leg yet? Would her friend suspect what had just happened? All this rushed through my head as I tried to make out what they were saying. It was hopeless, but I tried anyway. Had Nicole told her best friend what was going on between us?

The idea of it gave me a pain in the gut. There’s no way she would tell anyone that she was masturbating with her father. But girls tell each other everything, don’t they? And she’s young; maybe she doesn’t know any better. kids today had no concept of privacy with all that Facebook and InstaTwatter they were always posting everything to. Did she have any idea how much trouble I could get in if anyone found out about what’s going on? I’d lose her for sure. Maybe even get locked up. Oh God, what the fuck was I doing?

I heard them come out of Nicole’s room in a bustle of giggles and bubbling conversation. A cascade of fingernails tapped across my door as they passed.

“Bye, Dad! Love you!”

The front door closed behind them and the house was quiet. I tried to relax, but some of the tension still remained. If something as simple as a friend stopping by could give me that much anxiety about what I was doing, then it was obvious that I shouldn’t be doing it. I had to step back and take some serious stock of the situation and how I was handling it — or, rather, mishandling it.

I dropped the wad of clothes and crept down to Nicole’s bedroom. Peeking in I saw that her dildo was lying there on her bed, right out in the open, where Becca would have been sure to see it. My cock sprang back to life and I was hard again in a matter of seconds. I stood there in the doorway knowing I should back away and forget about all this, but instead my feet took me to the bedside.

I lifted my daughter’s dildo and brought it to my nose. It was the scent I’d been smelling on my fingers all through the day, but it was more intense, fresher. Before I could stop myself I was licking the side of the thing. My skin tingled and a vibration seemed to pass through my entire body. This was bad. I licked again as I began jerking off. This was really bad.

Knowing how pathetic it was, I started sucking her dildo. I felt ridiculous standing there sucking a fake cock just to taste my daughter’s cum juices, but I was powerless to resist. I must have looked like such a sissy bitch blowing that dildo while beating off like a complete degenerate. I didn’t care. I was tasting my girl’s pussy and it was glorious. It wasn’t long before I was emptying what was left in my balls all over Nicole’s bedcovers as I gagged on her purple dong.

When the euphoria of orgasm finally ebbed away, I was disgusted with myself — again. I put the dildo back where it had been, didn’t bother to try to clean up the cum that was soaking into her comforter, and shuffled out of my daughter’s bedroom wondering at what I had become. I needed to get my head on straight, but I was afraid I’d become incapable of any degree of self-control. I needed to stop, but I wanted more. I was the lowest form of scumbag there could be.

I got dressed and muddled through some chores around the house. I heated up a frozen pizza and sat in front of the TV hoping to be able to turn my brain off for a few hours. Nicole came in shortly after ten o’clock. She greeted me with a quick “Hi, Daddy,” as she passed on her way to her room. I turned off the TV and went to my own room in an effort to head off any further temptation for the evening. Just as I settled down under the covers there was a knock at my door and Nicole came in wearing one of her old SpongeBob t-shirts and a satiny pair of panties.

“You’re turning in early tonight,” she commented.

“Yeah, feeling tired for some reason. Busy day at work tomorrow.”

“Is it okay if I sleep in here with you?”

I should have said no. I needed to say no. I tried to say no.

“Sure…if you want.” I was pitifully weak.

She smiled and closed the door. I could hear her stripping out of her t-shirt and pulling down her panties. I silently pounded my fist against my head, admonishing myself for being such an idiotic fool. Nicole slipped under the covers and sidled up against me, sighing with contentment once she was nestled in place. Her hand went straight for my crotch.

“Aww, you’re wearing undies,” she pouted.

“Yeah, well, I really am tired tonight, honey. Is it okay if we just go to sleep?”

“Sure…if you want.” As she said this she moved one of her legs up over mine and pressed her hips forward. This little maneuver brought her pussy mound right up against my thigh and I could feel the tickle of her downy pubic hair. She was a devious temptress. “Goodnight, Daddy.” She kissed me on the lips with just a hint of tongue and snuggled down to sleep.

The more I tried not to think about the heat of her pussy against my leg, the more aware I became of it. The more I tried to will myself not to get an erection, the harder I got. The more I told myself that I had to stop messing with my own daughter, the more I wanted to make love to her. The more I tried to deny that I could ever make love to my daughter, the more I wanted to fuck her. I was hopeless.

It had taken almost three hours before I dropped into a fitful sl**p. At one point I awoke and felt a subtle movement bouncing through the mattress. Nicole was quietly masturbating next to me. She was acting like she was trying to be discreet about it, but I knew she wanted to get my attention. It took every ounce of what little willpower I had left to pretend like I was sleeping. The whole time I was acutely aware of every motion and every sound. I bit my lip and FO*CED myself to remain still. When I heard the strained whimper of her orgasm I almost gave in. How could any man be expected to contend with that kind of temptation, daughter or not?

I was miserable throughout the next day. Work sucked. People sucked. Traffic sucked. The world just plain sucked. I had the most perfect, most sexual, most beautiful girl willing to do anything for me, and it was the one girl on the planet I wasn’t allowed to do anything with. I was supposed to take care of her, and protect her. Protect her from men like me! Who knows what sort of damage I’d already done to her. Yes, she had fantasies about me, but that didn’t mean I had to indulge those fantasies. I might be screwing up her ability to have a normal relationship and get married and have a family of her own. Sure, she was having fun now, but there had to be long-term psychological consequences to having your own father jerking off on you all the time. What a fucking mess.

As soon as I got home, I changed and went out to mow the lawn. Nicole was busy with homework, then getting dinner ready. I wasn’t feeling much like talking. She sensed this and let me be. That night she didn’t come to my room, which was a relief and a bit of a disappointment. Maybe this thing had run its course and she’d satisfied her curiosity. Maybe I was off the hook.

The following day was only slightly better than the day before. Everything with Nicole was still weighing heavily on me, but I was starting to resign myself to it all being over and figuring out how we were going to move forward. There would be regrets, but we had to put this strange episode behind us.

Nicole had soccer practice that night, then went to the mall with friends afterward. When she got home, she came and greeted me with a chaste kiss on my temple. We exchanged how-was-your-day small talk for a few minutes before she retired to her room, leaving me in front of the TV alone. I stayed up for another hour, then dragged my sorry butt to my bedroom. I lay there feeling like shit on several levels.

There was, of course, my bad behavior lately. My lack of discretion, my faltering self-control, and my gross irresponsibility as a father. But I also felt like crap for Nicole. Something was obviously bothering her. Maybe she’d picked up on my self-loathing mood these past couple days. I wasn’t being fair to her in any conceivable way. I got out of bed and put my robe on.

I knocked softly at her door, half hoping she was already asleep.

“Yeah?”

“It’s me,” I said pointlessly. “Can we talk?”

There was a nerve racking pause. “Sure.”

I opened the door to find Nicole in bed under her comforter — the one I’d cum all over the other day — with a book in her lap. She had a small smile for me, but it wasn’t the confident one I’d gotten used to seeing lately.

“What’s up, Dad?”

“Nothing really.” I fidgeted just inside her doorway feeling awkward and guilty. “You haven’t come by my room the past couple nights and I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with you. With us.”

She shrugged and the smile faded. “I’m okay, I guess.” She riffled the pages of her book. “It’s just that…I don’t know.”

I could hear a note of exasperation in her voice. “Go ahead, you can tell me.” I sat down on the edge of her bed, being careful to keep my robe securely closed.

“I just thought that maybe I should give you a break. I mean, I’m sure I can be pretty obnoxious bugging you all the time for…whatever. It seemed like you didn’t want to be bothered the last couple days. Which I totally get, so…” She shrugged again not knowing what else to say.

As if I didn’t already feel like a big enough of a jerk. I’d opened up this enticing door to illicit pleasures, and now I had basically slammed it in her face without any explanation at all. It only made sense that she would be confused and think that my recent moodiness was somehow her fault.

“Sweetheart, trust me when I say that you weren’t annoying me or bothering me in any way. I love being with you. I want to spend every second I can with you, no matter what we’re doing.” This seemed to cheer her some.

“Okay, but you’re upset about something. Is it because I’m acting like too much of a slut around you? I know I get carried away and all, but I can try–”

“It’s not that either, Nicole. I love the way you are when we’re…you know. But I can’t stop worrying about how wrong the things I’m doing are.”

“The things we are doing.”

“Sure, but no one’s going to send you to jail for what you’re doing.” I regretted saying that as soon as the words were out.

“How would you go to jail? It’s not like I would ever tell anyone in a million years.”

“We were less than three minutes away from Becca walking in on us the other day.”

Nicole bit her lip, looking a bit sheepish. “Well, first of all, that was totally my fault and I promise to be more careful in the future. And, secondly, Becca wouldn’t tell anyone anyway because she has a huge crush on you. She’d be so excited that she got to see you naked that she’d probably pass out on the spot.”

“A crush? On me? Now you’re just bullshitting.”

“I’m serious.” She leaned forward with a naughty gleam in her eye. “She confessed everything to me one night when she was sl**ping over about three years ago. She’s completely in love with you and she’s hot for your sexy bod.”

“As if I don’t already have enough to worry about.”

“Actually, after she told me about how much she wanted you and how she thought you were studliest man she ever knew, that’s when I started thinking about you that way also. Before that you were just Dad. But, when I tried thinking of you as if you were a regular guy, then I started getting a little horny for you. You have no idea how turned on I would get over you sometimes. After I saw you playing with yourself in the shower that time, I thought about your penis pretty much every day.”

My ego was swelling, along with my cock. God dammit, couldn’t I get through a simple conversation with my daughter without popping a boner like some hormonal teenager? I adjusted my robe to be sure Nicole couldn’t see what was happening.

“Whatever the case,” I fumbled ahead in my attempt to restore proper boundaries without hurting any feelings, “you have to admit that it’s not right for me to be acting this way with you. Father’s and daughters just aren’t meant to do that kind of stuff with each other.”

“Someone once told me that the world would be a pretty boring place if everyone only did what they were supposed to do.” She gave me a smug little smirk.

“No fair using my own words of fatherly wisdom against me.”

“Okay, then, look at it this way.” She tossed her book aside and got serious. “You jerk off, don’t you?”

“Ah, I think you know that answer to that.”

“So, you’re in your room jerking off, right? And I’m here in my room fingering myself, or whatever, right? Is there anything wrong with that?”

“Well, no…”

“But so then you’re saying if you take away the wall between our rooms, that makes what we’re doing wrong?” She obviously had this argument prepared ahead of time. “We’re still both doing the same thing as before.”

“Yes, but…” I couldn’t come up with a well-reasoned counterpoint. “It’s one thing doing that in private…but when we can see each other.”

“Oh, please.” She wasn’t backing down. “If I want, I can imagine what you look like naked and picture you stroking it, which I’ve done a zillion times before. And you can do the same with me whenever you want. You can imagine what my tits look like naked, and my ass, and the way I look when play with myself. We’re already seeing these things in our minds, so what’s the difference if we see it with our eyes.”

“I think we’re veering too far off into the metaphysical.”

“Sure, I admit what we’ve been doing might not be normal,” this was accompanied by air quotes, “but I don’t care about being normal. You don’t just want to be normal, do you, Daddy?”

I thought I had this all figured out. I’m sure the fact that I wanted to be convinced made it all the easier for her to sway me.

“I want to do what’s right for you and make sure you become the happy, healthy, amazing woman you’re meant to be.”

“I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been these past couple weeks.” She reached out and took my hand in hers. “And I think you could be happy, too, if you you’d stop worrying so much and just have fun with me like I know you want to.”

“Look, this all started because you asked me to buy you that darn dildo to keep you from being distracted from your schoolwork by boys and sex. How is what we’re doing not a bigger distraction than that?”

“I got a 91 on my calculus test yesterday, and Mr. Prescott is definitely going to give me and Becca an A on our science project. The distraction would be if I was trying to find a boyfriend, then doing all the crap that goes along with dating — clothes, makeup, hair, going out, does he like me?, is he cheating on me?, am I pregnant?, and all that junk. Knowing that all I have to do is come home, looking however I look, and there will be a hunky man there for me to get off with, and have the best orgasms I can ever dream of having, is the exact opposite of a distraction. It’s perfect…for me.” She lifted my hand and kissed it. “But not for you?”

“It’s not that.” I was in well over my head and sinking fast. “It would be perfect for me, too — beyond perfect, really — if you weren’t my daughter. I can’t help feeling like I’m hurting you in some way. Even if you’re having a good time now, what if things change and you feel different about what I did to you?”

“You’re not doing anything to me, Daddy, we’re doing this together. I love you so much.” She closed her eyes and seemed to be somewhere else for just a moment. Nicole opened her eyes and focused on me once again. “I know all this isn’t easy for you to deal with, but I want it. I want it so fucking bad.” She squeezed my hand. “If you honestly don’t want to do these things with me, that’s one thing. But if the only reason you think you shouldn’t do it is because of me, or some stupid idea of what society thinks, then you’re making a huge mistake.”

My girl was making it all but impossible to do what I’d always known to be the right thing. Why did I let her get so damned smart? She was undeniably sincere about what she was saying, and she made some very compelling points. I also knew that I couldn’t trust myself to be an impartial judge. I wanted her so badly. I wanted to be naked with her every minute of every day. I’d never known a lust like this before in my life. She was everything to me, and I was compelled to give her what she wanted, even when it defied my lifelong concepts of morality.

“I love you more than anything, Nicole. My whole life is about taking care of you and making sure you’re happy.”

It might have been my imagination, but her eyes were looking a little watery.

“You know what would make me happy?”